Sports Figures Make-A-Wish Kids Would Wish to Never Meet

First things first, Make-A-Wish is an incredible organization that I fully support, and I myself am a proud Wish recipient.


Sick kids are some of the toughest sons of bitches you will ever come across. I know this because I have often been considered "tough" by those who have gone though less than I. But I have met the real badasses during my stays n children's hospitals, the kids that make my struggles seem like a walk in the park. Every sick kid deserves a Make-A-Wish, which is why I spent 2 years refusing mine.

It has now been 6 years since I received my Wish, so I got to thinking...who in the sports universe is worth literally cashing in your Make-A-Wish in to ensure you never have to meet them.


Fan Base: Penn State

ICYMI: Dom Mazzetti's take on the whole thing (link)

When you find yourself disregarding reason and horrible atrocities rooted in the fandom of a school you did not even get accepted to, you are not worthy of breath on this earth. A hypothetical Noah's Ark sequel does not have room for this fan base.

Sportscaster: Marv Albert

We as a society should hope that sinking your teeth into multiple women's flesh, only to be re-hired by your network television station employer shortly thereafter, is not something our youth should be exposed to.



It is bad enough they had to listen to Marv make Steve Kerr giggle for 4 seasons on TNT.

Parent: Wanda Durant

Yes I know that Lavar Ball is the low hanging fruit here, but I am going in another direction. I know nothing about Wanda outside of the fact that she is Kevin Durant's mother. I also know that Kevin Durant made the most candy ass decision in NBA history.

Wanda is "The Real MVP" even though her league MVP son felt he needed to join another league MVP in the type of cowardliness never before seen.

Your son is WEAK, that's on you Wanda.

(Former) Radio Host: Nick Wright

Ok so honestly, I had to add this category just to include the pathetic loser that is Nick Wright. I have literally heard this man speak on 2 occasions, both of which made me physically upset.

If LeBron and his wife ever need a surrogate, Nick Wright is probably their guy.

Womanizer: Tony Parker

Let's end here with a lesson for all the young men out there. Listen up boys, getting a girl out of your league should be a main focus. Once you accomplish that, all that is left is to do everything you can to make sure your lady does not figure out how much better she can do.

Or....you can be a complete moron named Tony Parker. I do not know what the girl he cheated on Eva looks like, except for the fact that she 100% for sure does not look like Eva Longoria.